love and all the rest

"I have to go..." I said, leaning on the wall.

"I know." He replied with his cheeky smile. The one that always worked for me. Well...?

"I'm serious," I said and looked at him and then back at the ground.

"I'm not stopping you..." He whispered coming closer as he let his grip on my waist lose, like he expected me to fight that. Infact, i think he knew i would'nt fight it. He knew exactely what to say or do.

"I love you..." I whispered after a pause. Before I compleated my sentence, he had a you are so adorable smile on his face. I could feel his hand moving up my waist as i felt the tingling feeling and it moved up my neck to my face and he tucked a strain of hair behind my ear. Although his eyes and mind were on me, he kept fidling with my earing with his fingers. I loved it when he did little things lke that. It's cute. He does it everytime, half of the time he doesnt even realise he's doing it. This time, he knew.

"They're pretty," He whispered, taking a quick glance at them. I was pritty sure he'd seen them before but forgotten, they were kind of old, long and silverish. Suddenly he stopped fideling with them and moved closer. Close enough for me to feel his breath... for five whole seconds before he kissed me... a kiss that lasted long... but not long enough. Everytime we kiss, it only just get's better. I've never felt bored or used to' his kisses... everytime I feel a new level of excitement. A new bunch of butterflies. We could kiss 10,000 times and yet the 10,001th will be better then the one before. I guess the feeling is too amazing, too perfect for words. So I might as well stop trying to look for the words that dont exist because it's beyond expressing. All the feelings I get when we're together, when he kisses me, touches me, looks at me, holds me... when he suddenly takes me in his arms, when we're laughing together, when he comes and holds me from behind, when we go out together or talk about the most random things all night. when we're in public and he takes my hand in his so everybody knows I'm with him, when he doesnt care about kissing me infront of his friends. When he does something sweet or sticks by me when I need him, when we're trying our best to get by a tough day together... when he smiles so adorably at the single rose I give him... when we're...together... just us... all those are the feelings that are great in themselves because of the reason that they can't be described with words...

"I thought my Jaan had to go..." he said, still holding me. Still making me feel like the only girl worth it in the world... Like I was all to him that he was to me... "Do you still have to go sweetheart?" I nodded and smilled, then kissed him again. This time I had to, because I didnt want to talk about me going, not just yet. I wanted to stay right there with him. I didnt want to leave this place or feeling ever... He backed off quickly like he was about to ask me to go, and suddenly kissed me again...
This kiss reminded me of... well the 1st time I kissed him. It just felt so simillar. It wa right after my play, when we were sitting in the park at about 4am talking and I told him I'd broken up because I didnt feel right being with a guy when I liked someone else, which was him... and he told me he'd dumped Suzan the same day because he had feelings for me and we started talking about us and how we felt, thats when I just kissed him... I remember that night so well. It feel's like it was just yesterday, but I also feel like I've been with him for years. I couldnt think about anything else for that whole week. I don't know how to explan it but... lets just say I never knew a kiss could be so meaningful... I had no idea you could say a million things with it, the ones that words can't say...

"Oh Jaan!... your so late," He said and kissed my forehead. Isnt that cute? How often does a guy these days kiss your forehead right after you give yourself to him compleatly... I know one, and he's mine!

It'd been almost 35 minutes since the 1st time I said I had to go before we kissed. I dont regret saying it. If I hadnt, he wouldnt have kissed me, and then I wouldnt be here in his room, late for the Radio Show. Which is exactelly how I want it. A kiss has never meant so much, never been so deep and soft and yet so passionate ever before I knew him. It's like I'd never lived before we met. I didnt know what life was and I didnt know about those little things that bring you happiness.

He losened his grip around me, "When do I see you next?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his shoulder.

"Whenever you want..." He replied. "Its Thursday, I'm here all day..." Thats right. He doesnt have Uni on Thursday. Thursdays is always a busy day though. But we're doing the 8-10pm show together... so I'd see him then...

"If I dont see you during the day, I'll see you tonight." I was supose to be on live in 2 minutes. Meh, I'm sure they'll come up with something. I leaned forward and hugged him. This was just so much more Important right now... I dont mind being late, I've missed this feeling... missed being alone with him in his room... hell, lately I havnt been with him much atall wether thats alone or with others. We still spend time together every day - obviously... but not as much as we use to... I havnt slept over his place for like 2 weeks now and we havnt really rented a movie either or gone out anywhere alone... so this felt nice... just being here with him... I didnt realise we'd become too busy untill this morning and I decieded I'd wake up early and come over here and have breakfast with him seeing Jan's got classes... and it worked out perfect... except, we never ended up having breakfast! Awww... god, I love him! And I wasnt about to say it now... because I say it so many times that I bet he thinks I say it for the sake of it... but I just can't help it. Everytime I look at him, everytime I talk to him or think about him, the 1st thought that comes to my mind is ' God I love him so much...'

"Give me a call when your done..." He said, and pushed all my hair on one side. I felt his hand lightly brush past the back of my neck, enough to make me want to stay in his arms forever. See what I mean? He is just so irrisistable. So adorable and so amazing. I love it when he does it... I feel like I belong to him when he fiddles with my earings or my hair or takes my hand in his...

"I will," I couldnt help but smile. "I'll be done in about 2-3 hours and then I have to go see JP... Maybe we could meet up after that..." I suggested. I'd be in town anyway so him and I could go grap something to eat before the Radio Show.

"Well, we can always go over to Barista or Picaza... or Time and Again for dinner. It's been a while." We even thought simillar... "Either way, give me a call when your done Jaan..." He said as I leaned forward as our lips met in a long, sweet kiss... I wish that'd lasted longer, or wouldnt have been the last one... but I'm sure this morning will keep me going for the whole day! Even when I get there and find Andre screaming at me for being late. It's 12.35pm, they started 5 minutes ago and I'll get there in about 5 more... I guess that aint too bad... right?

[Oh and by the way, that was Conner... remember Conner... My boyfriend, the guy I love? How could you forget, I gave you an entire history on Monday! Well if you could hear his oh so romantic voice, and look into his amazingly deep and magical brown eyes, spend the best times with him like I have, and listen to him talk abot everything so passionatly... you'd love him too... but I'm glad you dont, I dont like love triangles, and I certainly dont like people trying to take me away from him! And Jan... I think I mentioned him too before didnt I? He's Conner's room-mate. Cool guy. They are one of the best companies to have... Jan's doing Medicen with Conner too. You wouldnt think their room mates if you see them together, you'd think their family. Then again, if you see all us friends together, you wouldnt think we're just friends either! We've all got this... understaing...

"Oh my god, Rose...why are you soooo careless! I don't believe you! So damn selfish.."

Aha... talk about understanding... thats Andre having a fit... Usualy it's not like this... but it isnt his fault. Just one of those days!]

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

"Rose... don't be late!" Andre said coming in my way as I was about to walk out.

"I heard you the 1st 20 times Andre" I said and laughed. "I promise I wont let you down..." He was still staring at me. Giving me his yeah right look. "I'm getting late for a meeting with JP... and I still have to go to the car park and get the car... I'll see you tonight ok?"

I pointed at the clock on the wall, I hadnt seen that one before. It was a light green colour with a Maroon background. Looked kind of nice on the light blue wall, and according to that watch, it was almost 4.00pm.

"By 8.00pm, okay?"

"Done!" I said and closed the door behind me before he said more.

By the time I reached the car park Michael caught up to me. Where did he appear from?!

"Uh hello..." I said, taking out my keys. He looked out of breath. Like he'd been running for awhile. "Whats up?"

"Your deaf! I've been calling after you for so long!" He said and leaned against the car and closed his eyes. In the slight sun light, his blondish hair looked like it'd been dipped in gold, along with his eye lashes. I wonder what he used on his face though, Michael use to have so much aceny before. Now suddenly when he got back to Uni after the holidays he doesnt even have a single pimple.

"Sorry... Mp3..." I apologised. My music may have been to loud. "What is it?"

"I went to the Radio studio but Andre said you'd already left... so I came here... Can I grap a lift into the city?" JP lived in the city, so I guess I could manage that.

"Sure, hop in." He looked cold... it was a little chilli today... not too cold, but a bit cold for summer. Well, he was wearing a thin white t-shirt and cargo's. Men, always acting like they dont feel the cold.

"What do you need in the city?" I asked curiously. I thought he had lectures all day today... and Michael never misses lectures.

"Now that I'm the senior member of the Maths club, I have to go pick out the text books so someone can go get them for our fun quizzes later..."

[Michael's a nerd. He is a big nerd. He has light browny blondy goldenish hair, grey eyes and pale-ish skin, he's tall. Doesnt look like a nerd atall, but he is. I guess you could call him a nerd in disguise. He loves Maths. He wanted to do it so much that in our 1st year he started a Maths CLUB! shockingly, he does have a lot of members too. I met him at the welcome night, along with the others. He was on the same table as me. The boy is very helpful with maths seeing I'm really weak and I need it every now and then with things. He wants to finish this course next year, and then go onto doing a Post Graduate Degree, and then do a course at UNY... so the boy has plans of studying till about 30 and then do a job and move along from there. I can picture him as a brainy rich guy one day, owner of all the massive companies. It's just such a Michael thing to do. He comes top in Uni each time for mathamatics.

So I guess thats our Mickey. But apart from the freaky maths obsession, he's awesome. He's not really a nerd nerd otherwise. We talk about the funniest things at times and he goes out and does everything else you do when your at Uni. I guess he's just extra brainy... but I'll make sure I design the uniform for all the companies he owns one day!]

I turned on the FM, and pulled the car over at a corner of Pultney St. in the city.

"Thanks alot Rose, cya" He said and got off the car. Drive FM were playing a song from Conner's band. Oh, I'd heard this one... it was deep... and I liked it. Walls... or something. I wonder if he's listning to it right now... I wonder who's the RJ right now, I've never heard it at this time of the day before. Probably some junior. Wait... Conner! "Shit!" I muttered under my breath and took the phone out of my bag while still trying to keep an eye on the road. It was ringing... ringing...

Hey guys, you've reached Conner's Mobile, he can't get to you right now because... well, we're just busy right now! Leave a message after the tone, and hope he get backs to you, Cheers.

-Beep-

That was my voice... I recorded it so long ago, cant believe he's still got it! "Hey jaan...you've still got that message I recorded you... well sweetheart your defenatelly not with me right now!" I said and paused, the guy infront of me was driving like a dickhead. "Your song was on FM..walls...I think thats the name. Your probably busy, and I'm driving right now so i'll call you back later sweetheart.. and keep your self free for Sunday night... we have to go to JP's." This is so weird... talking to myself... "I love you... and I love you lots... bye,"

When I got to JP's, I was 20 minutes late. "I know, I'm sorry!" I apologised, before he even said a word. I was so unfair. He's the last person to get this kind of behavior.. that too from me!

[For all the people who still dont know who JP is... he's Jean-Pierre... yeah... ring a bell? Biggest Fashion Designer in Europe! He's here. And I'm working with him... sort of... I'll tell you how it all started off, it was so over the top! Last year, JP was coming to our college to look at the fashion students and our work, to see who's really good and I was really panicy and late so I was running to the hall where he was going to come, and individually look at all our work when... on the way there my paper work flew and got stuck on a car's windsheeld (It was a rainy day!) and the guy driving the car couldnt see anything so he hit it on a pole... that guy was JP! I'd just decieded that moment itself, he would never ever pick me... but he saw my work on his car, and saw the work I had... and he decieded he'd help me!

Amazing ha? But he didnt pick me because I was the best... he even said I wasnt... but his lines were you've got the passion and the scope and not the experiance... the other girls have experiance, and you love this... I can see it, so I'll help you! and since then, he really... really has helped me alot. I never thought I'd be working with a French designer for my own fashion show! I'd never be able to pull this off without him!]


"What's up?" I said lively, flashing my best smile. "Don't what's up me, your late." I guess the smile didnt work with him. "Sorry I've -- Oh my god ... is that..?" I looked past his shoulder, and then back at him in shock. I was waiting for an explanation.
"Yup!" He smiled, proudly. No way... he didnt! He couldnt have...