(non) fiction . . ?

"What are you doing?" Nat asked, as her and Riley came and sat next to me, outside the cafeteria. It was really sunny today so it was nice here, unlike every other day when you have to sit inside the cafeteria with all those people in your faces.

"I'm writing a story!" I said and smiled to myself, thinking about the storyline. I was just trying to be creative while we waited for Mary, Andre and Conner to get here from their lectures. Writing seemed to solve the purpose, too well.

"What's it about?" Riley asked, trying to leave over to see what I was writing just as I covered it with my arm and dropped the pen on the table.

"Remember that time when Conner and I had a big fight? And I didn't talk to him for an entire week?" I asked, as we all leaned in closer so everybody else wouldn't hear it. Nat and Riley nodded like it had happened yesterday, even though it was last year! "Well, do you remember how after a week had gone by, Conner sent me flowers and wrote me letters and tried to win me back by leaving just a rose in my next class or a little note inside my locker or slip it down the door or dedicate a song to me on the radio? Oh! And then when he sang for me in front of everyone? Hoping I'd forgive him? How absolutely adorable was that?" I asked and paused. Riley and Nat looked at each other and then back at me.

"I think she's hallucinating…" Nat whispered looking at me wide eyed.

"Maybe we should call someone for help…" Riley said back, and then turned to me and smiled like I didn't just hear her say that!

"Honey," Nat said and paused. "What really happened was you didn't talk to him for a week, he left you a rose in your locker with a small note saying I'm sorry I love you… and you melted and forgave him and you both were fine again… I don't know what the hell your on but all the other things didn't take place."

"Exactly… that's why I'm writing about it…" I said and smiled. "Why would you want to write about something that's happened? That's just boring… I like to write about things I want to take place… like my own little story about how I want my life to be… so I changed the fight that took place and made it more cute and romantic and because my boyfriend likes to sing and play the guitar and he loves me to death, he sang for me because he knew I was angry and that him singing would make a difference…" There was a long silence, right before Nat laughed really loud.

"I think its kind of cute…" Riley said, ignoring Nat's laughter. "It's a sweet thought…"

"Thanks Hun," I said, also ignoring Nat being annoying. "Don't you just wish men would do something thoughtful when your angry rather then expect you to forgive them?" I asked, hoping somebody else felt the same too.

"Totally." She replied. "Like writing you a letter or a poem, rather then buying a card or buy you a single rose or pick our some flowers for you rather then buy an expensive bouquet"

"Or leaving a small note in your locker or on your next class rather then sending an sms… or even calling you when you tell them you don't want to hear from them…" I added with a big smile. By this time Nat had a straight face, and she wasn't smiling anymore.

"I know! Don't you just hate it when you're angry with a guy and they ask 'can I call?' or they see you down the hall and ask 'can we talk?' where as –"

"You'd rather them just grab you by your hand and pull you close to a corner and hold you tight while they say what they want to say and not let you get a word in even when you try…" Awww… I'd lost my mind… completely. Just thinking about it made me smile, yet feel like a fool at the same time.

"But, they never do…" Riley said, sitting back straight up and looking around like she'd just hit back to reality.

"Hmmm… I think we're just romantic fools living in our own little fiction romance that never really happens." I said and smirked. Always easy to laugh it out rather then give it a deep thought and realise that it will never happen… no matter how much I hate being asked 'can we talk?'… I will always get that… no matter how much Riley might hate sitting there and getting a 'hey' from her guy when she's angry… she'll always get a 'hey' 1 ^st rather then a 'I'm sorry…' no matter what Nat… meh, Nat can be with any guy at any time, she's a play girl! But I really hope this thing with Matty and her is for real… he seems like someone who can handle her well and change her for good.

"Oh my god, SO glad you're here!!" Nat let out really loud as Mary and Conner walked up to our table. Ha ha, Drama queen! "I was going insane here… like one romantic fool wasn't enough, try putting the 2 together and they'll drive you crazy!" She said and moved to make some room for Mary.

"Oh, was Rose day dreaming again?" Mary asked. I was about to say something, but before I could Conner leaned forward from behind and kissed me… aww… I'd rather say nothing… who said my boyfriend wasn't romantic? He was. He just needed a bit here and a bit there and he'd be perfect. I could hear Nat and Mary talk about us in the background… obviously, good things. There isn't anything bad to say about Conner and me… well, not yet!

"Oye, stop jinxing us!" I said and threw my pen at Nat as Conner put down his bag on the ground and his head on my lap and lay down on the bench. He looked up at me for about 5 seconds before he closed his eyes. He seemed a bit tired… aw… I bet he didn't sleep again last night… Conner is either working on his songs, or trying very hard to get an assignment done. The only trouble being he never balances them. Either he won't pay any attention on his music or he'll pay too much on it… I scrolled my hand through his hair.

"Conner! You said you'd help me with my interview…" Nat said annoyed from the other side of the table.

"Mmm, I will I promise… sometime soon… really…" He replied, still with his eyes shut.

"Rose, I'm going to kill your boyfriend sometime soon if I get bad marks." Nat answered, scanning through my incomplete story.

"He's my little jaan…! He's like a little kid… I have two kids, this one here and that other idiot who's late."… Andre… he really is like a child! Glad I did child studies in year 11 and 12, it'll come handy!

"I hope I come 1^st though…" Conner whispered with a little frown… aww! I leaned forward and kissed him… offcourse he was 1 ^st priority, he was the only priority! He was my world… sometimes I think about how life would have been if I hadn't met Conner here or gone to some other college… I'd have never had the best years of my life! We may not be perfect and he may not do the little things that sometimes every girl wants done, but I love him for everything he does and doesn't do… and he's mine the way he is, I wouldn't really want to change anything at all. I like what we have… "I love you," I said as our lips parted. He had a big grin on his face, the cute one! "And you love me too… I know," I said before he tried, and kissed him again. Sunny day, awesome friends, best boyfriend ever… what else can a girl ask for?

"Break it up you two!" Said André from a distance. What is it with everybody? It's not like we're making out. I hate the ever so often comments. "Oye, how come he gets to lay down and I don't?" Andre asked, putting his bag down.

"Because she's mine you dog." Conner said, still with his eyes closed, but he had a strong point. I was his! And he was mine!

I picked up the small blue bag from Andre's half open bag. It was wrapped up with sticky tape, which just made me want to know what it was even more. "What is this?" I asked, trying to open it with one hand, with my other hand in Conner's hands.

"Nothing!" Andre said and snatched it from me. O.k. Weird. Whatever. "Did you come up with any idea's?" He asked, trying to change the topic.

"No not really. Not any apart from her writing a story about –"

"Terrorists in Kashmir and the poor children dying…." I added, before she could say any more. Oh my god, as if. She wouldn't possibly say 'a story about how she wishes Conner would have done this and this when they were fighting!' He'd think I'm nuts! I mean, he already thinks it's annoying how I write about everything… and I convey all my thoughts through stories and say what I feel through characters… but I'm sure he isn't the only one who thinks its bloody sad! It is sort of pathetic isn't it… living the life you want through a book… saying everything you feel through a book… you somehow reach a point where you don't realise the difference between reality and fiction, that's when you turn into a mess. "Well Rose, I'm sure you can take care of world issues after we've figured something out for ourselves…" Andre said, sarcastically.

"I will! See Jake's gotten me some chick to work with, for my blog on the known issues and we are going to broaden the topics so we have a wider range of targeted audience… and I'm working on other things at the moment but we'll have a proper meeting soon…"

I explained, hoping he would drop the subject.

"How soon is soon?" He asked.

"Well, we could… I'm…"

"Dude, stop being a jackass alright, I'll send out an email in a day or 2 for the meeting, it'll be soon okay." Conner said, finally opening his eyes to look at Andre. Ouch… I felt bad… if only I'd have gotten everything done! A few seconds later Conner closed his eyes again and took my hand in his. I had a feeling he was going to fall asleep. He seemed to be enjoying this, the sun on his face, the warm breeze, and well, me…. I hope so anyway!

Maybe I need to plan my days more accordingly… I took out my daily planner.

[Yes, I have one!! I know how exciting… but I only got it a few days back, Nat bought it for me… but I'm not sure if it was because she wanted to gift me something or felt like I needed to plan my days… hmm…]

Sunday

• 5.00pm – 8.30pm Work
• 9.00pm – 10.00pm Radio Show, filling in for Riley.
• Call JP, fix a date for our next meeting.
• English assignment… finish 400 words draft by tomorrow.

Monday

• Lectures from 10am – 3pm.
• 5.00pm – 7.00pm Shopping, with the girls. (I know, it may seem like this isn't important but it so is… I have to get those dresses done ASAP!)
• Call mum… is she coming here or am I going there?
• Fix a date for the meeting!!

Tuesday

• Radio show with Conner and Andre

So I guess it isn't so bad… all I have to do is get myself planned well. Good... and well, make sure I have time for Conner and me in it too... and not this kind of time... we get this almost everyday, which I'm very very glad for... how the hell would it be if Conner and I didnt see each other everyday, between lectures, after lectures, for the radio show, CRC meetings, group hangouts.... it would be unthinkable! If i didnt get this time with him... whoa, bad. Okay so *touchwood* ! but, Its been a while since we went out... and I dont like the thought of that... but I recon I'll figure something out... All I have to do is make sure we both have some free time between lectures, band practises, meetings, CRC, Radio show, stitching classes, his study groups, work, shopping friends.... yeah, how hard could it possibly be?? Not hard at all :-) eh

I scrolled my fingers through his hair one last time, and realised Conner had fallen asleep.. aw