Everybody's gettin' themselves a Lover

"Wake up!" Maria said throwing the pillow on me. Why do people around here use the pillows so much for all the wrong reasons? Its like the pillow says "Pick me.. and Hit with me" or something lamer.

I got up to look around... I was the only one still sleeping. Maria was dressed, in a blue summer spegetti dress, and Nat was sitting on the sofa in a sea green mini skirt and a white top, eating the ice cream that I'd saved for days in the freezer cause I like it so much! Its like the one thing I dont compramise... but there was no way I could say anything to Nat.. god, so tired. "Time?" I asked quietly. My voice is very low in the morning.
"Around 11.00am, so you've slept too much... whats with all this mess?" Maria asked. 11.00am? Woah, I did sleep too much. I looked around at all the unpacked luggage, the shoes and a bit of a mess on the corner of the room... hmmm...
"I dont know, some new student's moving in... only for a little while though!" I wasnt even sure why they couldnt give her the other rooms. Why mine. So far I've only met her once... she's usually not there when I am, and when we are together in the same flat, she's either sleeping or studying. Kind of isolated. Its sad. "She's not much trouble... it's like she isnt even there really." I added. Maria and Nat looked at me, then around the room and back at me.
"Yeaaaa, I can tell, by all this stuff..." Maria finally said. Oh but the poor girl had just moved in awhile back, I'm sure she'll take care of it soon.
"Meh, doesnt botther me for another week or so." I said and got up. I fell asleep in the hall last night... I was watching a movie on TV and didnt realise when I went to sleep. A bit tired.

"Where's Rose?" I asked, shifting back my blanket and pillow to my bedroom.
"She's getting ready... got up late too." Maria said and rolled her eyes. I almost laughed. She was the most organised one from us and after years, still wasnt use to us. It was such a Rose thing to do, be late. I just got up late most of the time but didnt take long to get ready... she was the last one to come out all the time, not because she had to do alot, but because she just did it too slow. Lazy girl. "I've asked her to be here in 20 minutes, so you better be ready by then or you'll get a big lecture." Maria warned. Oh yeah, Rose and her lectures. I dont really want one right now. I dont know how Maria and Rose live together, or are best friends... compleatly opposite people in so many ways. Mmm, opposite attract.
"Riley just change... have a shower when your back..." Maria shouted from the other side of the door. Thats exactelly what I was going to do. Have a shower later. But what could I wear right now?

"Hey you know Paul?"Asked Nat, talking to Maria. Its just the doors were way too empty, along with the walls! "He's got a girlfriend!"
"Are you serious?" Asked Maria, as I opened the wardrobe to deciede what to wear.
"No way, Paul from the Radio Station?" I asked, opening the door, dressed in nothing but my shorts and my white bra with black polka dots. Nat looked at me and squinted, probably the window behind. The sunlight was in her eye.. but oh my god, Paul's got a girlfriend?
"Yeah, he sometimes helps in the Radio Station and does one of the shows too... I dont know what time... " Nat added, taking another bite from the Ice Cream box.
"He does Thursday nights and Friday afternoon's..." I said, still in shock. As if... "Hasnt he been single for like 2 years now?"
"He has... but now he likes this girl that likes him back and he said their an item apperantly." Nat replied. She didnt seem too interested or affected, and Maria was just listning. Why was I the only one finding it so hard to believe?
"Its kind of cute..." Maria said, looking at me. "I mean, he does deserve to be with someone... and most of the girls he talks to are usualy just not worth it. Apperantly this one's simple and sweet." She said, folding away my bed sheet.
"Is she from this Uni??" I asked. She probably was... they werent sure. I cant believe he didnt tell me though... I thought I'd be one of the few people who he'd tell 1st. I just stood there on the door silent for a second.
"I guess I just cant believe that he finally found himself a girl after so long..." I added quietly, staring at the black TV. I was defenately happy for him... but a bit suprised that I didnt know... and that it's finally happened. The front door opened and I headed back to my wardrobe to pick something. It was Rose, she was here. Which meant I had to be quick and then brush and wash up... I could grab some coffee or take away from Cibo on our way.

[Paul and I sort of have a history... we were going out.. not long though, just for 2 months but it was quiet serious. Serious as in, not love.. well, I dont know how serious the relationship was but damn, the breakup was serious! But that was years ago, before I joined this Uni... and then we became friends. We didnt talk for a long time and then we became friends just some time ago and he hadnt had a 'girlfeiend' since me... so this would be his 1st one after me. The weird part is I'm so happy for him, I just want to tell him good luck and go ask him all about that girl... but, I was hoping he'd have told me himself... thats all. Tell me about it himself... it would have been so much better. I know I dont have feelings for him - nothing more then a good friend so you'd think he'd tell a good friend! I could hint it next time we met...]

Its so strange.. Everybody is getting themselves a lover. Paul's got himself a girl... Nat is all lovey dovey about her boss and their actualy getting somewhere finally... Rose forever has Conner for her! The girl will like, stay with him forever and ever... really, their going to get married and kids, I bet. They've been with each other for so long its like meant to be. Maria doesnt want a BF, but I can so tell she's flirting with this rich guy that works with her. I went there once and it was damn obvious. Jonathan, one guy I could talk to... He's at work with me... we talk so much, and just when you think you've made a new friend... he's got a girl back in his country that he might get married to and never even botthered to share it with me... everybody knew but me. How damn mean. So much for friends being honest with each other!

I bet this new girl that moved in has got someone too... everyone's got or getting a lover. Hell, so is my ex who hasnt even been single for 3 weeks yet and already likes another girl. Ugh, so much for loving a guy with everything you have... as soon as you've broken up, their out there being a dog. Honestly, hardly 3 weeks... and he's telling me not to mind because he's going to be with a girl... he feels so 'right' around her. Right my fucking ass. What a whore. Who is she? I wouldnt have a clue... All I know is I dont like her one bit, and never want to come across her. Ugh men... why even go out with a guy? Doesnt make any sence to me what so ever... It just feels like the whole world is getting paired up and I'm going to sit here and watch it happen. The worse part is, I dont want anyone. I wanted one guy but I couldnt have him... so he decieded he'd go looking for the right feeling all over again!

"Oye Riley, make it quick!" Rose said and threw a cussion on the bed. See what I mean? Pillows and Cussions. Gosh. I wiped away what would have formed into a tear in 3 seconds. No use crying over anything. I guess I'm better off without someone. I picked up the Gucci Pink polka dot skirt from the front shelf and a dark green singlet. That was easy. Now all I had to do was brush, get some food, get my ex out of my head and go have the most amazing day of my life! Shop for a JP Designers dress and have a great time... and try and keep him out of my head. There, I've got it all figured out.

--- ---- --- --- --- ----

"So what was it like, hey honey, I missed you kind of thing?" Rose asked, trying to put on a manly voice as I cracked up laughing.
"No..." I said, sipping my Chocolate Thick Shake. "It was more like I got there and I was about to go into my office when I saw him outside and stopped and he walked over and put his arms around me, not hugged but litrely just his arms around mt waste and kissed my cheek and said hey, morning... and handed me a coffee... and that too infront of everyone! and then we just talked and I told him I just came in to give some documents, I had to go out shopping after... and then he asked If Monday evening was ok for coffee and I said yes..." I paused to take a breath. Maria and Riley walked over with their drinks and sat down. It was almost 1.00pm... we left like 20 minutes ago... Riley took awhile! And then we were all hungry so we stopped by at Cibo and thought we'd take one step at a time. Stomach came 1st.
"Thats so damn cute..." Rose said and smilled. She looked impressed.
"Oh please Rose, you've got like the cutest guy in the Uni and he's too romantic... nothing any other guy does is so damn cute infront of him!" I said, and it was absalutly true. He was like the perfect guy. Rose was blushing, oh my god as if she still blushed after being with him for so long! Now that was cute...

"Whats damn cute?" Maria asked seeming lost.
"The fact that Nat's finally got Matt to notice her! And the boy is falling hard for her!" Rose teased. Geez, I felt like I was back in highschool... I bet soon someone will start singing Nat and Matty, sitting on a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g-! or something.
"Ooo, him... when are you going for a coffee?" Maria asked, suddenly recollecting all the things she knew about him.
"Sometime Monay." I said and looked over at Riley, she was a bit quiet... like she was tring to stay out of the conversation. I'd compleatly forgotten that this is the last thing we should be discussing around her... specially right now. As much as I found her a bit on my nerves at times, she was having a tough time and she is after all my good friend... there's no way I could do that to her! She's one of my best irritating friends. I looked over at Rose and Maria.. I could tell they were thinking the same thing...

"So what colour dress are you going to be looking for?" Maria asked me, as suddenly Rileys eyes drew back towards us.
"Hmm.. somewhere along cream or white-ish... I dont want too much colour in it... He's famous for his sexy simplisity... so thats what I'm going to use!" I said, giving it some thought. Yeah, something simple and light. White would be good... Creamy - Peachy colour is 1st prefrence.
"What about you Riley?" Rose asked with a naughty smile on her face. We all knew what she was going to say! Riley loved Polka dots.
"I dont know!" She said and laughed. "I'd like something in Polka dots yeah... I mean, he has his amazing designer dresses... and he has some good Polka dots too... so I'll see them... other wise I think I'll stick with white..." She added. I could just see Riley in a long silk halter neck, white dress with big black dots. She would look hot as! It would look perfect on her.
"Well If theres a good Red dress with white dots, Its mine." Rose said, before Maria could.
"You wish. I'm taking the red and white one!" Maria replied.
"Oh yeah, like the one we saw on Ice... I really wanted that and you didnt let me get it... and you didnt get it either and it was gone!" Rose reminded. Oh yeah, I rememeded that too... they'd look at it every damn day, but none of them got it.
"Well what about the Red dress at MCL? You said you'd get it for your birthday last year... but you didnt, and I never found it again!" My god, these 2 could really go for ever. Riley and i I looked at each other and tried our best not to laugh. They've been doing that since last year... both of them want a red dress with white polka dots, but dont want the other one to have it... crazy.

The funny part is, I bet in the end, Rose will end up with something just red and Maria will end up getting a sort of greenish colour... a sea green or light green dress... Riley will end up in a Polka dotted dress, and I'll find a nice cream dress - or I hope so! We've got all day, and we havnt even gone there yet!

The "F" Word

"Hey... Jake, Its Ava, whats up?.." This by far was the hardest thing I'd done in the past few days.
"Uh not bad... you?" He asked, sounding a bit dissapointed. Or maybe just annoyed that I hadnt called in awhile.. "I sent you a mail and... then didnt hear from you..." He added. Yeah, I'd say annoyed.
"I know, and I'm sorry... things have been a bit messy, I just got your mail and I'm calling you now.. Sorry," He had every right to be annoyed I guess. I should have gotten back earlier... He really helped me alot, and still always is willing to do it.
"Dont worry its okay... so tell me how's things with you?" Jake asked, changing the topic along with the tone of his voice. Hows things with me? Things were... fine I guess...
"All good.. you sound a bit upset Jake..." Which he did. He still had this slight upset tone in his voice. I wonder what was wrong, or maybe he was
just tired. It was a friday afternoon, end of 1st week, we were all very tired.
"Nah I'm ok... just a lot of work." I believed him... and even if it was something, if he didnt want to talk about it - I wasnt about to force him to do it.
"Hey Jake... what would.. you say a Fling is?" I asked, breaking thesilence.
"Fling? I dunno... Umm.. how come?" he asked, his voice getting deeper.
"Just wondering, curiosity I guess... so, tell me, what do you think it is?" I insisted.
"Your worrying me... Are you sure your ok? Why're you asking?" From a deep voice, it turned into a worried deep voice... he probably thinks I'm doing something wrong that might hurt me knowing him... but I'm not...
"No its just.. I'm only wondering, don't you think its a bit disgraceful?" I asked, now even more confused.
"mmm... I guess..." I hate it how people can do that... go from laid-back to worried to ignorent.
"Its just, I feel like all I'll ever be is a fling to people... you know? Never more... everybody wants to be with me... but never more then a fling. Im like the fling girl, and the worst part is, I cant just be with someone and forget all about it..." I explained, waiting for him to say something...
anything... anytime now he was going to say that wasnt true... but he
didnt...
"Uh" I could feel the hesitation in his voice. "Maybe, I dont know... Umm, can we talk later?" He asked, finally. "I'm at work and this just... isnt an appropriate topic right now."
"Sure" I whispered as my eyes got watery and hung up. Can we talk later??? Isnt he helpful! Did anyone even care that I was feeling like shit? I felt low and sick... and he has no idea what to say to that...

I couldnt help but wonder if the reason behind that was... the fact that we had a history... could that be it? But we've known each other for so long... over 2 years now and I know he's liked me since but we were only ever friends... because we cant be any more and... just one day... for a single day I let myself follow my heart and here is where I am today... sure, you wouldnt call it a fling but we surely had something that day... and even though we've continued to stay friends after it, and I've never really had such feelings for him... I cant help but wonder why he ever became friends with me... why did any guy ever talk to me? Why is it that every guy that is the slightest bit nice to me, always wnats something for it? Jake only ever wanted me for one reason... and still hopes it will happen again - yeah right... I wonder why Alex went for a movie with me and talked to me all nights every night and wanted 'chemistry' between us but when I refused, we stopped meeting... or Daren... What about Sameul... he talked to me for months and would always act extra nice and call me all the time and when I said that I only liked him as a friend... he didnt want to talk anymore... and shockingly, none of them wanted a relationship... not one... not a 'proper' one anyway... all they wanted was a short term fling with no strings attatched..

"Fuckin' whore!" I said out loud and whiped the tear before it came down to my cheek. I looked up in the mirror infront of me. "Face it... you'll only just ever be a pretty face... your the girl every guy wants to take out for the night, not the girl they want to bring home after or have a chat to..." I said to myself, still looking in the mirror. I wish I didnt look the way I did, I wish I looked different and was nicer that way the guys who did like me, atleast I'd know its for who I am and not what I look like... as for now most of them just think Im some snobby hot bitch. How sad is that?! "Very..." Now I was talking to myself... ugh, I cant believe I'm even doing this. I have an English EGK test in less then an hour and Im sitting here crying. As if. I should probably be worried about the test... but I'm not... well, In a way, but not much. 1st week back, last day of the week, they sure know how to ruin somebody's Friday! Atleast its not on Monday, or the weekend gets crappy.

Its only an EGK test though... which stands for Easy General Knowledge... which isnt what its actualy called, its just what we named it because the only stuff they ask us in there are our future plans, and give us like a sentence and ask us to do a creative writting piece on it. Or a political topic... last year they asked us questions about our families and our future, then made us argue a topic in History or Polotics and as usual, a creative writting piece... there were also a few GK questions. So I guess that isnt too bad... I mean, my GK is fine, so I'm not as stressed as I probably should be.

'you can call me when you feel appropriate - Ava xo

I sent it to Jake's mobile and decieded to go sit in the library for awhile, go through some books before the test... then I'm done for the day.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

When did WW1 start and finish, and what was the main concern in the following those years?

Was the last question in the Polotical/Historical questions... I'd just answered 19 of them... stupid ones. Some about Hitler and the natzi's, there was something about Gandhi and random ones about USA for some reason... and the last one was just as stupid, but I bit more long... I found these so boring and easy. I dont even see the point of them. I knew the WW1 was from 1914 - 1918, I dont think there was anyone who didnt know... as History is a compulsory subject in Highschool and we've all obviously passed year 12, so we should all know that... and as for the concern, obviously, things like depression. They knew that would defenately be a worry once the war was over... and it did happen. There's a quote I really like, a bit religous but makes sence thinking back at the message it gives...

"We're not making a sacrifice, Jesus, you've seen this war. We are the sacrifice."

If I botthered to put that in, these people would give me full marks for being a bit thoughtful... these things are so easy to get through. You dont even have to have a brain for it. I know that over 8 million men died in those 4 years of war, and there was a colapse of three empires. It was Germany, Austro-Hungary and Russia. After such an industrial war, what did they expect if they didnt expect depression as a side effect. People all around the world were dying, and families were colapsing. Just the thought of it makes me sick. Sort of glad to be born after its over, but the fact that the world today isnt any better just confuses me.

Write a creative piece, about a particular word starting from the alphabet F.

(The creative piece may be handed in as a Diary note, a discussion, story, essay or any other creative way of writting chosen by the students.)

Hmm... F? What can i write? Festivals... flowers... foam... fax... I tried my best to push the thought aside. Fence? I couldnt help but think about that one word... I guess it wouldnt hurt to write on it... would it?

Dear diary,
Fling;
Does that word ring a bell? I bet it does... we've all thought about it once. Maybe not used that word for it but defenatelly given it a thought. So my question is, what is a Fling? Is it a short term relationship with no strings attatched? Is that a good thing? Or is it too subjective? I wish I knew exactely the answer to this... but I personaly think a Fling is 'Timepas'... wouldnt you say 'Timepas' is something you do only for awhile, with no promises or expectations attatched because your only passing your time while you wait for what your really looking forward to... so is it a good thing? Being somebody's Timepas? I dont think so... because then your just being used.. your like the thing they keep for a time being while they wait for the real thing they want... till then, your theirs... with you having absalutly no right to question or expect anything.

What if thats all you've ever been all life? Maybe not all... because we certainly come across amazing people who want more then just a fling, and people that want to have your friendship... but alot of the times thats not it. How are you supose to react to that? Specially if you really really like the other person and you dont want to ruin what you have with them... I think its sad, being a fling. I find it absalutly disgraceful, digrading and beneath me. Because I would hate to be treated like that... to be with someone secreatly while they dont have someone... and when they do, your just the same old person again... and you cant feel bad or be hurt or even expect things to not be like that. I mean, that IS a fling. So if you know that your getting into one, you really dont have the right to try and act like its a real thing.

Even the word Affair sounds better then a fling. It sounds cheap and low. Like a secret hook up thats just been stretched out for a longer then usual time. You'll always be the girl that's being kissed and pampered in private where no one can see you... like its a crime or that you dont deserve to be treated that way in public... and the 'girlfriend' gets the real thing. The one where everybody knows your 'together' and your there with them... you get that respect and not just a hook up in the dark where no body can see you because its 'wrong'. A guy wouldnt ever take his girlfriend to a motel room for a few hours and lie to his friends... but he would with his 'fling'... so basically, you are the 'other girl'... I know there isnt a girlfriend there but, he's waiting for it... and your jus the 'other girl' no body will ever know about and one day it will be over when the 'right one' comes along...

Sure, people do it all the time... when they both feel that way... but what if you really like the person alot and dont want to be treated like a 'fling'... but you cant exactely be with them either for several reasons... do you just continue being only good friends or do you let things go the other way for the time being... and go with the flow? The problem with that is, before you get into anything, you just have to tell yourself it will be over sooner or later because your the timepas, the girl that isnt respected in those ways and the one who has no right to expect for something... and If your ready for that kind of 'fun'... then I guess it's not up to someone else to deciede if its right or not... But if your not, then you just need to give it a thought... as much as you would love to spend that sort of time with the guy, have him to yourself and have endless hours alone together... would you rather that and be over one day, or stay just a friend? I think its the toughest decision... because most of us think 'whatever happens will happen... i'll prepare myself for it and I'll be fine... we'll see then...' and then, when it does happen - it hurts... So as I asked earlier, Is it a good thing, or a bad thing? and should it really not hurt, to just be somebody's Fling? If only I had the right answer..

Will write in more in some other entry,
Ava

"Three more minutes and I need these handed in... so please write your names on each sheet." Said Mr.Sperri from the front of the room as I looked up at the Clock. Three minutes to 3.00pm. I folded my answer sheet and put all my stuff together. I finished three minutes early, damn, that must be a record. Usualy, even though I know most of the answers and I can finish about 20 minutes early, I like to stall around them and think of all the possible things and make the answers a lot bigger then needed, so finishing before time is defenately a new thing.

Dot at 3.00pm, there was a long bell and all the papers were collected... I couldnt be anymore glad to leave that room. Thats some luck, of all the alpabets, the one they had to give was F... So what if Jake didnt think listning to me was important, I guess I could just write to the damn teachers and bore them about it!

Where are you? I thought you wanted to meet the girls... so you could make more friends over here... their in the Rehersel Room.. if you want I can come there n introduce you all.. their sweet, ul fit right in trust me. How was test? WB, Andre

He's a really nice guy I met in lectures... and I've come across him since some where or the other... and he keeps asking me to meet the girls in his group, cause I might like them and I'd fit in... and I really wouldnt mind that, but right now I'm not in the mood... He said it would have been better if I'd met them, that way I could come to play pool with them tonight, and I'd know everyone by then... sure, I could do with some cheering up right now but... I cant help but feel a bit strange about it. I dont really want to go, not today... for all you know, Andre just wants a fling with me too! I mean, why else would a 'guy' want to talk to Ava? She couldnt possibly be interesting enough to be friends or something more serious with!

Thankz Andre...maybe another time. I feel tired & im workin tonite..thankz for offering though..I wud realy love 2 meet them sumtym soon..Test was OK,just going back to room.. you take care & c u over the weekend. xo Ava

I hope he doesnt mind... I feel a bit bad, but I really dont feel well... not after this test and writting oh so much! Maybe I think too much... I know its what my best friend Emma would say if she was here, "Stop stressing.. you think a biiiitttt too much!" and she's right, I do... and I might have not in another situation.. as I didnt put so much thought into it all the other times someone asked me. Either I just went for it or I said no. But it was different this time... different because no one had ever used the word Fling before... and when I went to think about it... I realised its what most guys think of me as... and to know that someone so amazing that you actualy would want to be with wants you to be their 'fling' just because you cant have anything more just makes your selfesteem go down to -1 ! I hate thinking about it... I wish he'd used a different word... maybe tried another way... or maybe that I hadnt liked him so much.. but 'no expectations or strings attatched'? Man, I'm in for a tough time if I go with my heart.. Because I know I'll end up doing that... I know I'd give anything for maybe just a little while with him alone. Even if it meant I sooner or later I'd be replaced by someone a lot better and meaningful.

Is that Lust? Or is it just pure insanity? To want to spend a small amount of time with a guy even though you know it will be over and you'll be very hurt...I'd say its just pulling of an Ava... lets not forget, for most people I have been only the short term girl... and the very few who ever wanted a bit more were unintentionally pushed away.

I opened the freezer and took out the rum n raisens Ice cream box with 2 Mars Bars, a big red spoon, Dorito's Corn chips and my all time favourite movie, Breakfast At Tiffinies... just incase nothing else good was on TV. Wow, what a great way to spend a Friday night, with a bunch of junk food and dvd's... god, thats like the typical after a break up night... except, it involves of girlfriends coming over. Which I hadnt made here yet... So, this Friday, I'd have to make it on my own... maybe with the help of a beer or two aswell.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

"..but a friend with weed is better..."

"I just dont get it... why me?" wined Riley, as we muched on the chicken burger while sitting in the rehersel room. Usualy Canteen's the hang out place but there were just too many people there I didnt want to see today. I looked up at Riley, she looked like a sick puppy, and I dont mean that in a cute way atall. She really did look bad. Her hair had gone all frizzy and dry, her eyes had sunken in and she was wearing no make up except for lip gloss, which instead of making her lips look glossy, made them look sticky. Her pale skin was only paler, and her nose was red. So she looked a bit funny with pale skin and a red nose, like it'd been painted. Poor girl... I wonder if it would help if I told her to get over it already... Maybe not...

[Riley is a 2nd year. She joined last year, so technically, I'm a senior and she is junior to me. She's studying Media, which is how we met because she needed some help and I'm doing 3rd year Media and I suggested she'd join the Radio show for some good experiance and fun, from where she met Andre, Rose, Maria, Conner and all the rest. As for right now, she's depressed. She's been reading some book about how all men are jerks and it just happens that she likes a guy, which doesnt go well together. She's a bit paranoid and no offence and all I mean, nice girl but god she gets on my nerves at times. Its all about her. She always needs to be in on everything going on. I guess you could call her a more annoying version of Rose.]

"All men are the same... they all just want one thing... thats disgusting." She said, stairing into space. I'd personaly rather eat this burger and listen to some music. but I'm stuck here till Maria comes, she's late again... as usual. I picked dust off my jeans as Riley talked more about the book. I was listning, but I had no idea what she was saying... you know what I mean? "Why can't they just make their mind up about things?" She continued just as Maria walked through the door in her denim skirt and black FCUK t-shirt. I almost let out a sigh but stopped myself. I wanted to run over and say thankyou! but I dont think I wanted to make Riley cry. "Whats wrong?" Was the 1st thing Maria asked, observing Riley. Who wouldnt, the girl was a compleat mess. "Oh nothing, I was just reading this book... and it talked about this character in the book, a guy who was a compleat dick, and I came to realise all men were like that." Maria looked over at me with a questionmark, like I'd done this to Riley! Which I clearly hadnt.

It wasnt my fault she was paranoid. All I wanted to do was eat my burger in peace. "You shouldnt be readint that..." Maria tried to explain Riley as she put down her bag next to me. She looked like she was just about to tell a child that Santa wasnt real. Sort of interesting. "See it's a book. Their like that. Read love story... or another book. Maybe thriller? That guy is just a character." She continued, speaking very slow. Shockingly, Riley seemed to get the point. I should try that next time, speak reaaaalllllyyyy slllllllllllllooooooooowwwwwwww... I would, if I had the time of the day. Just then Rose walked in, she was wearing the skirt I got her for her birthday last year. It was short and red with black polka dots. With a matching black singlet. She sure looked like summer had started! She also looked excited, I could tell by that big smile she had and the little light in her eyes. Finally, that meant some good news.
"Hey!" I said, sitting up to make some space for her on the edge of the empty stage. Clearly, she noticed Riley and her condition too as she sat down.
"Uh hey..." She shrugged, suddenly looking a bit more worried as well as excited. "So, what's wrong?"
"Nothing!" I claimed, before Riley said something. I wasnt trying to be mean, I just didnt want her to go through the entire thing again. "Riley is just a bit upset today... We're trying to cheer her up." I turned towards Riley and gave her a big, warm smile. So did Maria. You could clearly see the sad look in Riley's eyes. I had a feeling she was about to burst into tears any moment now. Which would really, really suck.
"Well, I have just the new's to cheer you up Riley, along with you two." Rose said, getting back into her excited mood. I wonder what it was if it would interest us too. Usualy Rose has the coolest idea's, so this probably was one of them. "I've been waiting all night and all today to tell you guys... I couldnt even concentrate on my lectures." She continued, making us just as excited. More curious really, to know what it was. As Rose digged into her bag looking for something, it only made me want to know what this was about more. Friday after noon, so far entire week has been shit as... so I'm hoping this will be nice. Rose took out a card, a light blue plastic card with writting over it. It looked like a credit card, but it wasnt. She had a big smile on her face as we all looked at her cluelessly... till she turned the card around.
"Your kidding?" Maria asked, in all seriousness. Ofcourse she was kidding. There's no way that card was her's... It was the special JP Designer label card. The one only very few people have in this world. It gives you the right to go into any of his stores and pick out a dress designed just by him, most of which are over $5,000! How awesome is that? Rose has that card!
"Your so lucky..." Riley said, under her breath. "Not me... we are so lucky!" She added. "JP gave me this card, and it isnt just for one person.... I can get you guys a dress too... any you want!"

Was she for real? Own a JP Dress? I personally think he was being too generous! This was way too big... More like too good to be true. How often do girls in public Uni's get to even wear a dress designed by such a big name? Having your own would be so out of this world. People start saving up from now to maybe get it made for their wedding... and we do absalutly nothing and get one for free!
"Rose, why is he doing this though?" I asked finally. I realised no one else would botther because all they care about was the dress. Not that I dont, but I'm curious too.
"Okay this might be a bit... unrealistic to you guys but... you know Molly Cooper?" She asked, looking at each one of us. Know her? Everybody knows her. People down in Japan know who Molly Cooper is, and she's hot! Molly is getting married to that really hot guy... their engaged... Adam Broody!! She's probably in the top 10 hottest models!
"She's always wanted to get married down here... she loves this place" Rose said and pasued. We all had a what the look on our face. From any where in the world, here? So weird. "Her Wedding is in about 2 weeks time... and next weekend she's having a party with all the girls... like a before wedding thing I guess... and... well, JP wants us to go there!!"
"He wants US to go to Molly Cooper's wedding??" Riley repeated to make sure she heard the right thing. From sunken in, her eyes were suddeny wide out and big! Looked even freaker then before... but I couldnt care less right now. Rose had just made my month! Think about all the people that would be there... the famous people...
"Why?!" Riley asked, when no one else seemed to be speaking. Oh my god, who cares why? Does it matter? I dont think so!
"Just like that... dont you guys want to go shopping for a dress? and go to the party next weekend with all the hottest models, not that we're lesbian... and then go to the dream wedding every girl wishes they could see?" She asked in her very very tempting way. If we had any kind of look of doubt, she would get into it so much and give every little detail that you just wouldnt be able to say no!
"Course we do... this is unbelievable." Maria said, taking the card in her hand and reading the back of it. I wanted to go right now, but I dont think that would be possible.
"When do we go?" I asked, taking the card from Maria. Hmm.. It had all this code stuff on it. So cool!
"Lets go tomorrow... but Nat we'll have to take your car." Rose said making a sad face. Her car's been giving her shit, and more importantly, she doesnt really have much petrol either. The girl spends too much money if you ask me... but like I was about to say no to her with this card in my hand...
"Sure," I said and smilled. "My car it is then, at Noon."

--- --- --- --- --- ---

"SCORE!" Andre screamed, loud enough to almost break a glass. You know those movies where they show this big fat lady scream and all the windows break, Andre would probably fit right in! He gets a bit too attatched to our weekly game of Pool. We come here, to the Juke Box every friday night... All of us, so that way each friday no one makes any plans because it has to be just us... unless ofcourse your Jake, and your in shit for vandelising Uni property which you never even touched and their making you stay back on a Friday night and clean up... but, shockingly, he is here today! Not in shit for anything, luckily.
"Dude, we are soo going to beat you this round," Jake said and slammed $20 on the pool table.

[I know I'd already said a bit about Jake... but you still dont fully know him... and I dont think any words would describe him well at all. You've just got to be around him to know what he is like. Till date, I still cant say what he really is like... so unpridictable.. Although if there's one thing you can say about him, its the simple fact that he will always... always be there for his friends, and he will never... never manage to get out of trouble! Jake finishes the same time as us, he's doing an Arts degree, his future plans are to go to Africa, and volunteer for kids there for about 6-12 months, and then come and look for a job. He says he loves it here, but would rather be somewhere in a place like Mexico, I always tell him its because of the girls there, and he doesnt really deny it! But without Jake, our group would never be the same. He's always the 1st to solve arguments and fights, he will put himself at risk for you, and he loves to drive - which is always a good thing because you dont have to take your car. He's a sweetheart... and he's Andre's room mate. As I said, these 4 guys are like 4 brothers, and I couldnt ever imagine one without the other!]

We'd just finished the boys v's girls round, we won.. The boys lost.. how? I really dont know, I'm shocked. Just our luck! Now its Jake, Conner, Jan and Me v's Andre, Nat, Riley and Maria. Michael isnt here... he's out with his 'maths friends' preparing for a quiz. So today there is an odd number of guys and an even number of girls. Only better for us. Riley seemed a bit better after the shopping news this afternoon, Maria as always, laughing... but for some reason Nat didnt seem alright... I walked to the other side of the Pool table, where Nat was.
"What is it?" I asked, leaning on a table behind us. She very well knew she couldnt hide it from me... Nat took a deep breath and looked past me at the balcony outside. Aww, I cant believe I didnt notice earlier she needed to talk.
"Conner... can you please play for me for a little while?" I asked leaning over close so every body wouldnt have to know what it was about. Not that I knew either.
"Mmmm I dont know Jaan.." He replied, with an unsure smile. "I mean... What do I get out of it?" He was in such a cheeky flirty mood tonight. He did the same thing earlier tonight when I asked him to drive the car... and when I told him about the wedding... I wasnt sure wether to stay with him right now, or go over to Nat. She needed me... but... I needed him!
"Sweetheart.. please... I need to talk to Nat, she's upset..." I whispered as he took me in his arms. "I'll be back soon.. I promise.." I leaned forward and kissed him softly, hoping he'd understand, and he did.
"Be back soon!!" Aww.. Conner could be so cute... I felt like I was taking away a lollipop from a little child.. he had the cutest sad look right now, I just couldnt help but kiss him again. But I didnt want to leave talking to Nat till later if it was important..

[Nat... Her full name is Natalie. She would probably be the 1st person I became friends with in such a less amount of time.. She is so amazingly sweet and caring. From 1st year, till now, there's never been a time when Nat has let me down or not been there when I've needed her. She's an ideal elder sister that every girl wishes she had! She will drop everything if you say you need to talk... and she'll try her best to help you with things.. and, the best part is, she is totally out spoken. If she doesnt like something, she'll say it to your face. I think thats good... so when ever I need an honest openion, I go to her. Nat is doing Media, 2nd last year too, and I met her in CRC... she had a really bad 1st impression... but as I got to know her, I realised she's not that bad at all... and now that she needs me, I wasnt about to just leave her there!]

"I'm sorry..." I said to Nat just as we came outside to the balcony. It was windy, not the warm windy but the chill windy. I dont know why the weather is so weird these days.. Its meant to be summer. Me wearing my cargo khaki pants with a Black spegetti top didnt help... I should have baught a jumper, but oh well. Maybe next time if Conner didnt stay in my room the entire time I tried to change and get ready and clean the floor, I might remember to take a jumper. With him around, I compleatly forget everything. I didnt even get a chance to find my bank card, I'd decieded I'd clean the room today and look for it... but I couldnt... after it all you'd think I wish he hadnt come over... but I'm still so glad he did. I love it when he just..doesnt want to leave! It's nice... just to know that your boyfriend would rather be with you in your room, he'd rather kiss you on your bed and talk about the most nonsense things such as the new cheap food cans in the store, then be outside with the other people... aww...

argh.. wait.. Nat.. What am I doing? she's upset.. I'm meant to be talking to her!!

"So tell me.. whats wrong?" I took two chairs and placed them down infront of the railing next to each other and sat on one.
"You remember Matt...?" She asked, looking at me. Matt... uhh.. god that rang a bell... she said something... Matt... M-a-tt... Oh!
"Yeah yeah... your boss..." I nodded, asking her to continue...

[but before she did, I'll let you in on what's going on... other wise it just wouldnt be fare, would it? So Matt is Nat's Boss.. and she is absalutly crazy about him. Nat's never been the type to stick with a guy for too long... she's always changing boyfriends and doesnt like a long thing and has always been with a guy once she's liked him... even if he's married... now thats a long story! Anyway, Matt's the 1st guy she's liked for this long... the Magazine she's the editor for, he's her boss there. How perfect, both are into Media. Anyway, he's got a younger brother too... cute as, he's in a boading school and comes home every holiday and lives with Matt... I dont know what happened to his parents... I've never met him... but how do I know so much about Matt? Nat told me... and I dont really know how she knows!

My god, I never realised how much their name rhymes!]

"Matt and I talked earlier this week... after work, when I was leaving... He asked me if i needed a lift and I said no thanks I've got a car and then he came to the car park with me... and took my number..." She said and pasued. "Asked if I wanted to meet sometime... for maybe a coffee..."
"Oh my god.. and you said?"
"Obviously, I said yes.." Nat still looked upset. Why was she upset? He asked her on like a date! She's been wanting this for as long as I can remember...
"But?" I asked, hoping there was more to it...
"But he hasnt called me or anything at all since... and ... we havnt worked at the same time either yet... I saw him yesterday when I went in for 10 minutes but he was in his office in a meeting and he saw me but didnt even aknowledge me..." Her voice got more tensed and high as she talked about it. "I left a msg with his assistance... a note saying Havnt seen you for a while..hope your fine! and got nothing in return... I mean he's got my number... he could have said something..." Hmm... thats interesting... why would a guy do that? Why would any guy do that? 1st of all, why take her number if he has no intentions of calling her... why ask her out if he isnt going to talk about it further... and god, why turn Nat down? She's so absalutly gorgeous! "Maybe he'll call soon... he might have just been busy..." I shrugged... I've always been bad at comforting... the only thing I can do is give advice!
"He took my number on Tuesday... I left him a note on Thursday... Today is Friday, almost Saturday... What time??? How much time does he need?"
"Relax..." I said, cutting her before she said more... wow... i havnt seen Nat like this over a guy! Or anything... As much as I'm happy for her... I don't think it's good right now... not unless that guy calls her back!
"Maybe you should --" Nat's phone rang. I had such a strong feeling its one of the boys inside... asking us to "hurry up"... She looked up at me, at the number and then up at me again.
"Who is it?" I asked, figuring it wasnt one of the boys.
"Dont know... Private number.." She said and picked it up. "Hello?" I'd only just noticed how different her Hello is when she doesnt know who is on the other line... its alot more unsure, unfriendly and curious... not as relaxed and friendly as the other hello... obviously, because she doesnt know who is on the line!
"Uh.. Matt! Umm... hey yeah it's me.. Natalie.." She said, with a broad smile. Nat's happy and shocked smile. It's so cute. She looked over at me with excitement and then squeezed my hand. I smilled back. I was so happy... because she deserved to be happy!! and I guess I had absalutly no idea what I was going to do to make her feel better... so, I must say, perfect timing Matt!
"Uh huh..yeah defenatelly... No, it's fine I understand" She went on with her unwipable smile. "Coffee?" She repeated the word and looked over at me confused. I nodded quickly. As if that was even a question... we'd been out here in the cold because she wanted to meet him... and now he'd asked! "Yeah... I'm free..." she said on the phone... I like seeing Nat happy! I just wish he'd called earlier...

So now that he has, tomorrow when we go shopping nothing will be on her mind.. I cant wait... I'm so glad I can finally do something for my friends! And ... you know what... Conner would look so.. so hot at the wedding.. I hope he doesnt say he wont come.. that would really suck if he says that he doesnt want to go or dress up formally.. hmm, I'm sure I can convince him... somehow! The cute look with a please hasnt worked for awhile, neither has the smile... so it's time for something new! Maybe I should leave her in privacy to talk to him, obviously things are going fine if their still talking on the phone... I smilled and opened the door to go inside.
"Thanks..." She whispered and shut the door. Thanks? what for? God, the amount of credit I get sometimes for doing absalutly nothing!

love and all the rest

"I have to go..." I said, leaning on the wall.

"I know." He replied with his cheeky smile. The one that always worked for me. Well...?

"I'm serious," I said and looked at him and then back at the ground.

"I'm not stopping you..." He whispered coming closer as he let his grip on my waist lose, like he expected me to fight that. Infact, i think he knew i would'nt fight it. He knew exactely what to say or do.

"I love you..." I whispered after a pause. Before I compleated my sentence, he had a you are so adorable smile on his face. I could feel his hand moving up my waist as i felt the tingling feeling and it moved up my neck to my face and he tucked a strain of hair behind my ear. Although his eyes and mind were on me, he kept fidling with my earing with his fingers. I loved it when he did little things lke that. It's cute. He does it everytime, half of the time he doesnt even realise he's doing it. This time, he knew.

"They're pretty," He whispered, taking a quick glance at them. I was pritty sure he'd seen them before but forgotten, they were kind of old, long and silverish. Suddenly he stopped fideling with them and moved closer. Close enough for me to feel his breath... for five whole seconds before he kissed me... a kiss that lasted long... but not long enough. Everytime we kiss, it only just get's better. I've never felt bored or used to' his kisses... everytime I feel a new level of excitement. A new bunch of butterflies. We could kiss 10,000 times and yet the 10,001th will be better then the one before. I guess the feeling is too amazing, too perfect for words. So I might as well stop trying to look for the words that dont exist because it's beyond expressing. All the feelings I get when we're together, when he kisses me, touches me, looks at me, holds me... when he suddenly takes me in his arms, when we're laughing together, when he comes and holds me from behind, when we go out together or talk about the most random things all night. when we're in public and he takes my hand in his so everybody knows I'm with him, when he doesnt care about kissing me infront of his friends. When he does something sweet or sticks by me when I need him, when we're trying our best to get by a tough day together... when he smiles so adorably at the single rose I give him... when we're...together... just us... all those are the feelings that are great in themselves because of the reason that they can't be described with words...

"I thought my Jaan had to go..." he said, still holding me. Still making me feel like the only girl worth it in the world... Like I was all to him that he was to me... "Do you still have to go sweetheart?" I nodded and smilled, then kissed him again. This time I had to, because I didnt want to talk about me going, not just yet. I wanted to stay right there with him. I didnt want to leave this place or feeling ever... He backed off quickly like he was about to ask me to go, and suddenly kissed me again...
This kiss reminded me of... well the 1st time I kissed him. It just felt so simillar. It wa right after my play, when we were sitting in the park at about 4am talking and I told him I'd broken up because I didnt feel right being with a guy when I liked someone else, which was him... and he told me he'd dumped Suzan the same day because he had feelings for me and we started talking about us and how we felt, thats when I just kissed him... I remember that night so well. It feel's like it was just yesterday, but I also feel like I've been with him for years. I couldnt think about anything else for that whole week. I don't know how to explan it but... lets just say I never knew a kiss could be so meaningful... I had no idea you could say a million things with it, the ones that words can't say...

"Oh Jaan!... your so late," He said and kissed my forehead. Isnt that cute? How often does a guy these days kiss your forehead right after you give yourself to him compleatly... I know one, and he's mine!

It'd been almost 35 minutes since the 1st time I said I had to go before we kissed. I dont regret saying it. If I hadnt, he wouldnt have kissed me, and then I wouldnt be here in his room, late for the Radio Show. Which is exactelly how I want it. A kiss has never meant so much, never been so deep and soft and yet so passionate ever before I knew him. It's like I'd never lived before we met. I didnt know what life was and I didnt know about those little things that bring you happiness.

He losened his grip around me, "When do I see you next?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his shoulder.

"Whenever you want..." He replied. "Its Thursday, I'm here all day..." Thats right. He doesnt have Uni on Thursday. Thursdays is always a busy day though. But we're doing the 8-10pm show together... so I'd see him then...

"If I dont see you during the day, I'll see you tonight." I was supose to be on live in 2 minutes. Meh, I'm sure they'll come up with something. I leaned forward and hugged him. This was just so much more Important right now... I dont mind being late, I've missed this feeling... missed being alone with him in his room... hell, lately I havnt been with him much atall wether thats alone or with others. We still spend time together every day - obviously... but not as much as we use to... I havnt slept over his place for like 2 weeks now and we havnt really rented a movie either or gone out anywhere alone... so this felt nice... just being here with him... I didnt realise we'd become too busy untill this morning and I decieded I'd wake up early and come over here and have breakfast with him seeing Jan's got classes... and it worked out perfect... except, we never ended up having breakfast! Awww... god, I love him! And I wasnt about to say it now... because I say it so many times that I bet he thinks I say it for the sake of it... but I just can't help it. Everytime I look at him, everytime I talk to him or think about him, the 1st thought that comes to my mind is ' God I love him so much...'

"Give me a call when your done..." He said, and pushed all my hair on one side. I felt his hand lightly brush past the back of my neck, enough to make me want to stay in his arms forever. See what I mean? He is just so irrisistable. So adorable and so amazing. I love it when he does it... I feel like I belong to him when he fiddles with my earings or my hair or takes my hand in his...

"I will," I couldnt help but smile. "I'll be done in about 2-3 hours and then I have to go see JP... Maybe we could meet up after that..." I suggested. I'd be in town anyway so him and I could go grap something to eat before the Radio Show.

"Well, we can always go over to Barista or Picaza... or Time and Again for dinner. It's been a while." We even thought simillar... "Either way, give me a call when your done Jaan..." He said as I leaned forward as our lips met in a long, sweet kiss... I wish that'd lasted longer, or wouldnt have been the last one... but I'm sure this morning will keep me going for the whole day! Even when I get there and find Andre screaming at me for being late. It's 12.35pm, they started 5 minutes ago and I'll get there in about 5 more... I guess that aint too bad... right?

[Oh and by the way, that was Conner... remember Conner... My boyfriend, the guy I love? How could you forget, I gave you an entire history on Monday! Well if you could hear his oh so romantic voice, and look into his amazingly deep and magical brown eyes, spend the best times with him like I have, and listen to him talk abot everything so passionatly... you'd love him too... but I'm glad you dont, I dont like love triangles, and I certainly dont like people trying to take me away from him! And Jan... I think I mentioned him too before didnt I? He's Conner's room-mate. Cool guy. They are one of the best companies to have... Jan's doing Medicen with Conner too. You wouldnt think their room mates if you see them together, you'd think their family. Then again, if you see all us friends together, you wouldnt think we're just friends either! We've all got this... understaing...

"Oh my god, Rose...why are you soooo careless! I don't believe you! So damn selfish.."

Aha... talk about understanding... thats Andre having a fit... Usualy it's not like this... but it isnt his fault. Just one of those days!]

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

"Rose... don't be late!" Andre said coming in my way as I was about to walk out.

"I heard you the 1st 20 times Andre" I said and laughed. "I promise I wont let you down..." He was still staring at me. Giving me his yeah right look. "I'm getting late for a meeting with JP... and I still have to go to the car park and get the car... I'll see you tonight ok?"

I pointed at the clock on the wall, I hadnt seen that one before. It was a light green colour with a Maroon background. Looked kind of nice on the light blue wall, and according to that watch, it was almost 4.00pm.

"By 8.00pm, okay?"

"Done!" I said and closed the door behind me before he said more.

By the time I reached the car park Michael caught up to me. Where did he appear from?!

"Uh hello..." I said, taking out my keys. He looked out of breath. Like he'd been running for awhile. "Whats up?"

"Your deaf! I've been calling after you for so long!" He said and leaned against the car and closed his eyes. In the slight sun light, his blondish hair looked like it'd been dipped in gold, along with his eye lashes. I wonder what he used on his face though, Michael use to have so much aceny before. Now suddenly when he got back to Uni after the holidays he doesnt even have a single pimple.

"Sorry... Mp3..." I apologised. My music may have been to loud. "What is it?"

"I went to the Radio studio but Andre said you'd already left... so I came here... Can I grap a lift into the city?" JP lived in the city, so I guess I could manage that.

"Sure, hop in." He looked cold... it was a little chilli today... not too cold, but a bit cold for summer. Well, he was wearing a thin white t-shirt and cargo's. Men, always acting like they dont feel the cold.

"What do you need in the city?" I asked curiously. I thought he had lectures all day today... and Michael never misses lectures.

"Now that I'm the senior member of the Maths club, I have to go pick out the text books so someone can go get them for our fun quizzes later..."

[Michael's a nerd. He is a big nerd. He has light browny blondy goldenish hair, grey eyes and pale-ish skin, he's tall. Doesnt look like a nerd atall, but he is. I guess you could call him a nerd in disguise. He loves Maths. He wanted to do it so much that in our 1st year he started a Maths CLUB! shockingly, he does have a lot of members too. I met him at the welcome night, along with the others. He was on the same table as me. The boy is very helpful with maths seeing I'm really weak and I need it every now and then with things. He wants to finish this course next year, and then go onto doing a Post Graduate Degree, and then do a course at UNY... so the boy has plans of studying till about 30 and then do a job and move along from there. I can picture him as a brainy rich guy one day, owner of all the massive companies. It's just such a Michael thing to do. He comes top in Uni each time for mathamatics.

So I guess thats our Mickey. But apart from the freaky maths obsession, he's awesome. He's not really a nerd nerd otherwise. We talk about the funniest things at times and he goes out and does everything else you do when your at Uni. I guess he's just extra brainy... but I'll make sure I design the uniform for all the companies he owns one day!]

I turned on the FM, and pulled the car over at a corner of Pultney St. in the city.

"Thanks alot Rose, cya" He said and got off the car. Drive FM were playing a song from Conner's band. Oh, I'd heard this one... it was deep... and I liked it. Walls... or something. I wonder if he's listning to it right now... I wonder who's the RJ right now, I've never heard it at this time of the day before. Probably some junior. Wait... Conner! "Shit!" I muttered under my breath and took the phone out of my bag while still trying to keep an eye on the road. It was ringing... ringing...

Hey guys, you've reached Conner's Mobile, he can't get to you right now because... well, we're just busy right now! Leave a message after the tone, and hope he get backs to you, Cheers.

-Beep-

That was my voice... I recorded it so long ago, cant believe he's still got it! "Hey jaan...you've still got that message I recorded you... well sweetheart your defenatelly not with me right now!" I said and paused, the guy infront of me was driving like a dickhead. "Your song was on FM..walls...I think thats the name. Your probably busy, and I'm driving right now so i'll call you back later sweetheart.. and keep your self free for Sunday night... we have to go to JP's." This is so weird... talking to myself... "I love you... and I love you lots... bye,"

When I got to JP's, I was 20 minutes late. "I know, I'm sorry!" I apologised, before he even said a word. I was so unfair. He's the last person to get this kind of behavior.. that too from me!

[For all the people who still dont know who JP is... he's Jean-Pierre... yeah... ring a bell? Biggest Fashion Designer in Europe! He's here. And I'm working with him... sort of... I'll tell you how it all started off, it was so over the top! Last year, JP was coming to our college to look at the fashion students and our work, to see who's really good and I was really panicy and late so I was running to the hall where he was going to come, and individually look at all our work when... on the way there my paper work flew and got stuck on a car's windsheeld (It was a rainy day!) and the guy driving the car couldnt see anything so he hit it on a pole... that guy was JP! I'd just decieded that moment itself, he would never ever pick me... but he saw my work on his car, and saw the work I had... and he decieded he'd help me!

Amazing ha? But he didnt pick me because I was the best... he even said I wasnt... but his lines were you've got the passion and the scope and not the experiance... the other girls have experiance, and you love this... I can see it, so I'll help you! and since then, he really... really has helped me alot. I never thought I'd be working with a French designer for my own fashion show! I'd never be able to pull this off without him!]


"What's up?" I said lively, flashing my best smile. "Don't what's up me, your late." I guess the smile didnt work with him. "Sorry I've -- Oh my god ... is that..?" I looked past his shoulder, and then back at him in shock. I was waiting for an explanation.
"Yup!" He smiled, proudly. No way... he didnt! He couldnt have...